Eventually I Know.....

1. 到了中国，才知道只生一个孩子好。
2. 到了台湾，才知道骂祖宗还可以面带微笑。
3. 到了香港，才知道明星都戴著口罩。
4. 到了日本，才知道死不认账的人有時候还会很有礼貌。
5. 到了韩国，才知道亚洲足球使上帝都差点疯掉。
6. 到了泰国，才知道看見漂亮妹妹先別慌著拥抱。
7. 到了新加坡，才知道为什么四面都是水，还向別人要。
8. 到了印度，才知道多貴重的人都得给牛让道。
9. 到了印尼，才知道为什么华人夜里睡不著觉。
10. 到了阿拉伯，才知道做男人是多么的骄傲。
11. 到了法国，才知道被人调戏还会很有情调。
12. 到了西班牙，才知道被牛拱到天上还可以哈哈大笑。
13. 到了南斯拉夫，才知道为什么有人不愿回到祖国的怀抱。
14. 到了奧地利，才知道是个乞丐都能弹上一支小调。
15. 到了瑞士，才知道开个银行帐戶沒有十万会被人恥笑。
16. 到了丹麥，才知道写个童话其实可以不打草稿。
17. 到了意大利，才知道天天吃比萨面上都可以不長脓包。
18. 到了希腊，才知道迷人的地方其实都是破庙。
19. 到了梵蒂岡，才知道在其境內任何地方开枪都可以打著罗马的鸟。
20. 到了美国，才知道不管是谁，乱囔嚷都会中炮。
21. 到了加拿大，才知道面积比中国还大的地方，人比北京还少。
22. 到了巴拿马，才知道一条河也代表了主权的重要。
23. 到了巴西，才知道衣服穿得很少也用不著害臊。
24. 到了智利，才知道火车在境內拐个弯也很难办到。
25. 到了阿根廷，才知道不懂足球会让人晕倒。
26. 到了南非，才知道随時会被爱滋吻到。
27. 到了撒哈拉，才知道节约用水的重要。
28. 走遍非洲，才知道人吃人有时候也是一种需要。

extra

到了马来西亚，才知道牵手也会接传票！

Cha Siew Pau & Maggi Mee

I know lots of people heard of the below story but we may forget someday. So, I've decided to keep it here. I've read it for many times but still will laugh everytime I read it again after somewhile....

One day, cha siew pau and maggi mee had a big fight. Maggi mee beat cha siew pau up until it had bruises on its pau body.

Cha Siew Pau loose the fight and went back to tell all the pau family;- Kaya pau, tau sa pau, curry pau, and etc.

So together, all the paus went to find maggi mee for revenge.

On the way... they met Spaghetti.. so all of the pau ran to Spaghetti and BEAT the hell up on Spaghetti that Spaghetti cant say a word,

Spaghetti then scream... 'what did I do? I don't even noe you all'..

Then the cha siew pau say..

'HEH! MAGGI MEE! Don't think I can't recognize you after you do REBONDING!!'

Think Before You Speak

Think before you speak... Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow j *b?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said , "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clean clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. So, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An older couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This one had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow, but don't get any? We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard!

13 Ways To Relieve Stress

I love to cheer people up & I am kind of easily to be happy ( & sad too )....I hope you will laugh with me after read the below ^-^. It's good to revisit some of these oldies......

*Stress Reliever #1*

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

*Stress Reliever # 2*

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

*Stress Reliever # 3*

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

*Stress Reliever # 4*

Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"

Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."

Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?!"

Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."

*Stress Reliever # 5*

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

*Stress Reliever # 6*

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

*Stress Reliever # 7*

Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

*Stress Reliever # 8*

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

*Stress Reliever # 9*

A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?

He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.

*Stress Reliever # 10*

Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?

Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!

*Stress Reliever # 11*

Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S. ?

Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side.

*Stress Reliever # 12*

A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body?

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humour.

*Stress Reliever # 13*

Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?

Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.

Hide Your Email In Office

Some people were fired because sending personal emails by using office's computer, office's Internet facility, during office hours in the office. To avoid this sad tragedy happen to you, I recently found a VERY effective way to avoid your personal emails read by your manager or boss. Lets check it out or maybe it is works for you too.............. ^o^

Election New Candidate - P333 Area

Malaysia's year 2008 election was just over and everyone is busy discussing the result. Did you vote? Of course I did. My vote goes to.............

Many Wives

A little boy was attending his first wedding.

After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Difference Between Male & Female Models

Do you know why advertiser / business people prefer to hire female models instead of male models for their advertisement? Same posing but how come with different effects? Lets check it out.......

Sometimes, even just a picture or a word could really make you laugh & cheer you up for the whole day. Have you smile yet today? Be happy & say cheeseee...... ^o^

Excuse Me, Please & Thank You

Mum takes Kim to visit a friend. Mum reminds Kim & said,

Mum : Kim, please mind you manner and don’t forget to use Excuse me, Please & Thank you in conversation.
Kim : Ok mum.

When they arrived friend’s house, they were welcomed with a plate of fresh apples. Kim speak politely,

Kim : EXCUSE ME. I would like to have the biggest one. Could you PLEASE peel it for me? THANK YOU.

Monkey Face

Conversation between a father & a 4 years old son.

Son : I am so angry dad!

Dad : What’s wrong son?

Son : Brother always teased me by saying that I am monkey since weeks ago.

Dad : Oh, I’ll warn him & ask him to say sorry. But son, why don’t you tell me earlier?

Son : I just know how monkey looks like after visit to Zoo today.

See The Difference

Do you know why Italian sells more cars than Korean? Just check it out!

Humourously Abu

1. A Teacher lecturing on population - In Malaysia after every 10 minutes a woman gives birth to a kid.
Abu stands up- we must find & stop her!.

2. Abu -Why are all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Abu- If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

3. Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.

Abu: The future tense is "you will go to jail".

4. Abu was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!

5. Abu told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: it's already raining.

Abu: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

6. Abu wins RM200 from 50 sen lottery ticket. Dealer gave RM110 after deducting tax.

Angry Abu: "Give me RM200 or else return my 50 sen back.

7. Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver you this Parcel
Abu:- Why did you come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

8. Abu's wish : When I die, I want to die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like all the passengers in the bus he was driving..

9. Abu at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

10. Abu was writing something very slowly.

Friend asked: " Why are you writing so slowly?

Abu: "I'm writing to my 6 year old son, he can't read very fast.

11. Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Nilai. Local Abu's neighbour have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

12. A man asked Abu, why Ahmad Badawi goes walking at evening not in the morning.

Abu replied "Elllooo… Badawi is PM not AM".

Ph.D

Interviewar : What's your qualification?

Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.

Interviewar : what do you mean by Ph.d?

Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.....

( ^-^ Sometimes we need to have good sense of humour to make our life happier. )

Men Ask Direction

Do you know why men don't ask for direction? Too clever? Too smart with map?

Let's check it out. ^o^

Ah Beng's E-meow

Dear Ah Lian,

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok.Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon. And when you got time, please fewfree to call me. Goo bye.....

Worm regard,

Ah Beng

Who Called?

Suzy loves talking on phone. She can talk for more than 3 hours each time. The time she hangs on phone more than hugging her husband.

One day, someone called and Suzy pick up the phone. Her husband though she might speak for few hours. Anyhow, Suzy came into bed after just 30 minutes. Husband feels unbelievable and asked Suzy, “Who called?” Suzy answered, “No, someone called the wrong number.”

Voice Mailbox

One day, Ah Ming’s aunt called.

Aunt : Ah Ming, is your dad in?
Ah Ming: No!
Aunt : How about your mum?
Ah Ming: No!
Aunt : So, who is at home now?
Ah Ming : No one. Please leave your message after the beep!
Aunt : @ # $ % & *

Girls Are Virus?

Man says :~

Girls are virus.

Girls are like an internet virus,
they enter your life,
scan your pockets,
transfer your money,
edit your mind,
download their problems,
and delete your smile.

So please download the software KillThem .EXE to save your life,
otherwise the hardisk of your heart may crash.

That's what man says.

I Beg You, My God.

When you feeling bad at work, just look at this & SMILE....^-^

Tomato Story

I got another story to tell, just have fun......

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. "You are employed" he said. "Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email". "I'm sorry", said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door-to-door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.

The man replied, "I don't have an email. "The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story

M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.

M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

M3- If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy/girl, than a millionaire... Have a great day!!!